A couple days ago, I had an event to go to where I didn't really know many people, and I wanted to make a good impression, and for some reason that day I was extra nervous. This was not a formal event, but I still took 30 minutes to pick out something to wear, I had even set out my favorite pair of overalls the night before but then I started to think what if people think overalls are strange or something like that! This was not like me!! Then on the way to the event, I started thinking about all the things I could say, "maybe I can tell this joke, or this story" and pre thought way too much, because I wanted to make a good impression. Then right before I went in, I sat in my car and realized, why? Why was I so insecure about this, about my appearance or my ability to connect with others, why did I let those thoughts take over. IT WAS SO SILLY!! I should have worn my favorite overalls!You see insecurity most of the time is followed by negative connotations, but to me it is human. It will happen, but I wanted to figure out for myself why. Why does that little doubtful voice pop up?
It wasn't a bad thing wanting to make friends and have a positive impression, but the way I went about it left out a very key part, JESUS! You see God gave us a sound mind and the spirit of power and love, but the mind is fertile ground for fear driven by un-Godly things. This fear and insecurity that takes root is not just about appearances, but fear is a choice and insecurity comes from that lack of understanding of God's promises. But we can say " I am not going to let doubt and insecurity win, because I have already won through Christ Jesus". I had to take a step back and realize, why am I so worried about this, I am born again anew in Christ, and everyday that I choose God, and choose to follow His word, the more of Him I will gain in my life. He will strengthen my thoughts and actions and battle against this insecurity.
I think also in today's society, what's "important" really is not, we are shown that appearances, and material items, and money, and job security, all those things are what makes someone well rounded, and confident. But in the end, will any of that have any weight on what makes you beautiful in God's kingdom? If that is all people want to be friends with me for, then I need to rethink who I am spending my time with. I want to be valued by my faith, and my mind, and heart, my ability to step away from temptations of this world and step closer to God. I was thinking about this idea the other day and it made me laugh, You know how there are party or event checklists like-
Well instead what if our checklist looked like this-
-Christ led mind
-Love seeking eyes
A Jesus checklist if you will HAHA.
This isn't to say that getting dressed up and putting thought in to your appearance, and having a good job or nice house isn't important, but there is SO SO much PRESSURE on those things and they are made out to be the identifiers of a good life. Thinking back to the barbecue,, that is why I took so long to pick an outfit, I wanted to give off a certain "idea of myself" right off the bat, but what does that matter if the "idea" of me isn't actually who I am. A good life, is going to be filled with insecurities, if we choose God everyday there are going to be times when we are unsure of our path, or where we are going or what is happening, but we then have a choice to either let doubt overcome us or remember that we are choosing to be secure in God, not in THIS WORLD.
So you say "Shea that is all nice and fancy advice, but how can I do that everyday". For me the biggest part is friends and family. When we have friends in faith, and friends that see your true talents and gifts from God, they will help you keep your eyes on that. You will also find yourself in an environment that is led by Christ, and that keeps our minds healthy. Find people who inspire you, and make you want to walk in faith together, you may have to go out of your comfort zone and take chances, I surely did and still am, but TRUST ME, it is so worth it!! Don't be afraid to step away from situations and people that instill those insecurities in you. Let us all find people who bring out the weird in us, our true spirit, that make us happy, that make us dance from such love!!! When we do this, who we are just comes out, the person we want to be and all the qualities we desire will start to appear, we will start to blossom into someone we never dreamed of. We don't have to hide behind an idea of ourselves and then we can wear our favorite pair of overalls !!! HAHAHA
"But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”
So. Insecurity will happen, but let's look at it as an opportunity to grow in faith, let's welcome it with open arms and so thank you but I choose to be secure in God!